oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize