I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
