Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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