it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize