yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I believe in your delicious
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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