You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
