wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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