You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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