Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
