I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
