6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you had me at cake vodka
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
