The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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