am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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