why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
