Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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