we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
