I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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