Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
