There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I fill condoms, not promises.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
