16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The Olympian is in my bed
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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