Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
