I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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