i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Houston, we have a squirter
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
