At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
