guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
