she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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