She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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