I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
