Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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