i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
