Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
