hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
These tits shall not be calmed
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
