I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
