He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How does it feel to date your dad?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
why is half of my head shaved?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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