I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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