ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
