If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
