White coat. Heels.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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