when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
