Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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