Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
