i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My life is pants optional.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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