how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
