Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
