I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
