I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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