I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
