Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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