we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
