Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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