My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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