Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have already put on my inside pants.
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