i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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