PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
