I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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