The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
