Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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