can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
4 words: hood of his car
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
