if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Less talking, more tequila
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
