Porn is love you can see.
Duck Duck Cougar?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
