I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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