Christians are straight up FREAKS
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
