i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
