Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
