I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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