so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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