Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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