belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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