break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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